I learned a lot from my parents,teachers,friends and myself.I would like to thank all
Even though I don't have accounting knowledge and enough English skills,I decided to learn Accounting.
I'm looking forward to what is happened to me.
Dec 27, 2007
My Birthday
Today is my birthday.I have became am now 28 years old.If I can live until I am 80 years old,then I have not yet spent half of them my years.Even if I can live until I am 60 years old,I will not have not spent half of them as well.However,I have spent an enormous amount of time already.I understood understand it was is very difficult to change myself.since This is because I made myself in a way to spend a lot of time but if I would not do it,there was no improvement to me. it takes a lot of time to get into a habit.However,if I do not do this,I will not improve myself.
I learned a lot from my parents,teachers,friends and myself.I would like to thank allincluding of them and even thank myself.And I hope there are beneficial things to me happening to me in at this age.
Even though I don't have accounting knowledge and enough English skills,I decided to learn Accounting.And I payed paid for a business school to take a certification which is CPA and so I lost most of my savings this year.I must change my mind from now.I also hope I have a new life to in which I will be eager to learn Accounting and English.
I'm looking forward to what is happened to me.
I learned a lot from my parents,teachers,friends and myself.I would like to thank all
Even though I don't have accounting knowledge and enough English skills,I decided to learn Accounting.
I'm looking forward to what is happened to me.
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6 comments:
Happy birthday! I hope you get birthday presents as well as christmas presents and new years presents and not all at the same time!
Here are some corrections:
"I have became 28 years old." Should be either "I have become 28 years old" or as an English speaker would more naturally say, "I am now 28 years old".
"If I can live until 80 years old,I have not spent half of them." -> The "them" sounds a little awkward: actually the whole sentence sounds a little stilted: a better way of expressing this would be "If I live until I am 80, then I have not yet have spent half of my years [on this mortal coil]". (The on this mortal coil is a reference to Hamlet) It is fun to put random poetical quotes in your speech but don't do it too much or people will think you are showing off!
Anyway comparing those 2 sentences you see I also dropped off the can in the first phrase and put in "I am". What you wrote looks technically correct and I can't think of a reason why it is wrong, but it definitely is not what an natural born English speaker would say. I think it is because we have set upon a certain parlance in our language, so when we hear someone else say something that is technically right but sounds different we still call it wrong!
I have written a lot now, so I'll just correct from now and wont have an extended discussion on it!
"Even if I can live until 60 years old,I have not spent half of them as well." -> "Even if I live until I am 60 years old [just like last time!], I will not have spent half of them." You don't need the as well on the end because the even at the start conveys this. To do it twice is tautologous. (Look up that word!)
"However,I have spent enormous time already." -> "However, I have spent an enormous amount of time already". Time isn't enormous! I don't know why, I think it is a parlance thing again. You should say "amount of time" because this is the way we normally do things!
"I understood it was very difficult to change myself since I made myself in a way to spend a lot of time but if I would not do it,there was no improvement to me." This sentence is too long and has too many ideas. Break it up! I am not quite sure what you are exactly trying to say, but here is an attempt:
"I understand it is very difficult to change myself. This is because it takes a lot of time to get into a habit. However, If I do not do this, I will not improve myself."
"I would like to thank all including myself." -> "I would like to thank all of them and even thank myself!" You missed out the "of them", the "thank" needs an object to say who is being thanked.
"And I hope there are beneficial things to me in this age." the "in this age" is a bit funny. I think you mean "at this age". Also you can't really say "benefical things to me". You ought to put in a verb: "And I hope there are benefical things happening to me at this age".
"enough English skill" -> skill should be the plural "skills".
"And I payed for a business school to take a certification which is CPA and I lost most of my savings this year." Dont start a sentence with "and"!! Also the past tense of "pay" is not
"payed" but "paid" - Our language is funny sometimes!
"I payed for a business school to take a certification which is CPA so I lost most of my savings this year."
"I also hope I have a new life to be eager to learn Accounting and English."->"I also hope I have a new life in which I will be eager to learn Accounting and English." - Though this doesn't seem correct either, but I think that is a philosophical point rather than a grammatical one. You ought not hope to be eager! You either are eager or you are not. Hoping to be eager sounds like an eager thing to do so I assume that you are!
Good luck to you next year. I am going out to the country for the holidays so I will not be able to write, but I will when I get back if you have kept it up over my holidays!
Happy Birthday, MST!!
I think 28 years old is still young, so please enjoy this new age so much!!
If my English is wrong or strange, please point it out to me...
Happy Birthday again,
Nori
Thank you for correcting again,almostaphd!
Your correction was like my birthday present,thanks!
I was really happy because of it.
In this your comment,I may get who you are because of "THE country".Also I learned how to use "THE" from the sentence. :D
It is very difficult to use for Japanese.
You implied who you are,didn't you?
I hope you have a wonderful flight back. :)
Thank you for your congratulation,Noi!!!
You speak quite good English but when I notice your mistake,I will tell you then.
I couldn't imagine you celebrated me.That's was a sweet present that you gave me!(and soft and easy to eat! :D )
I also hope you have a happy new year!!
Hi Almostaphd,
I corrected the diary with your pointing out.
I learned a lot from your correction. I really appreciate it!
Last of your correction is what I really wanted to say!("I also hope I have a new life in which I will be eager to learn Accounting and English.")
As for this paragraph as follows,
"I made myself in a way to spend a lot of time but if I would not do it,there was no improvement to me." "
In other words,It is very difficult to change myself.Because I've already spent 28 years as myself.
I spent an enormous amount of time.My personality became stiff (fixed?) because of it.However,If I didn't try to improve myself,there would be no improvement (to me?).
That's why I am going to do my best to change myself even if it is a little thing which I do.
Do you understand what I mean??
I should have written more.
If you have time,please let me know better way to say. :)
Thanks!
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